Take an idea and see where it takes you. My hope was my ideas would take me to my past self, and reconnect me to the person I was before I replaced her. There was an idea. I’d hold it in my eyes, focusing really hard on this idea. I trusted it. The idea I had with the polymer clay leaves did not come out like I imagined. More like baked playdough instead of sculpture. I also couldn’t help myself when I realized I had the colors for a Charmander so I had the bright idea to sculpt one from the polymer clay I bought.
“Char! Char!” I have been into Pokemon since first gen. Charmander sits on my office desk while I deal with disgruntled renters.
For November, National Novel Writing Month, since I can’t write to my heart’s desire, I would make a goal to read 2 books a week. So far, I’m reading The Phantom Tollbooth, Shadow of the Fox, The Call of the Wild, and W. B. Yeats poetry. I’m falling behind on my goal and thought this week I would read 2 short stories, or 2 long poems. I needed bookmarks for all the books, and the idea came to me, pulled me hard, and wouldn’t let me go.
The idea was bookmarks.
I sealed a golden leaf and added a burgundy tassel. It felt oriental in my Shadow of the Fox book, and I fell in love with it more when I realized that the kitsune in the book uses a leaf to focus her magic.
The wait for the precious gemstones were worth it. Every other week I’d push myself out of my mole hole and collect some autumn leaves. One week I went out and the autumn colors were drained from the tree tops. What used to be a burst of red and orange and yellow was now void of color, the branches holding on to wrinkled brown leaves, some trees were empty of leaves, sharply pointing their twisted branches against winter. I didn’t collect enough leaves, I had taken autumn for granted, and walked home one evening in a trance. Winter is coming.
Yesterday I stared out my window like there was a Van Gogh painting displayed outside, with my finished Autumn Fairy bookmarks in my hands. Golden leaves fall like a curtain when the wind waltzes by, falling from the dilapidated roof of the abandoned house across the street.
I’d been anticipating every season for a year, waiting to be healed, for the pain to suddenly stop. I’d be disappointed every season that passed, spring, summer, and now fall. I belonged in the dead winter. I came alive. When I went outside I didn’t need extra clothes. The temperature matched my mood. My breath came out icy, even when I was indoors, because part of me always stayed frozen.
Enchanting keys with cicada wings and dazzled with lapis lazuli and green aventurine 🍁 these book marks are so extra🍁 I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback from other writers and readers. I’ll have a shop update soon, if you want to know when the Autumn Fairy collection is up follow my Facebook page @hylabrookbooks and join my VIP group. Not only do you see my designs before they are shared any where else on social media, but you also get discounts to my shop and behind the scenes pictures. It’d be nice to see you guys there!