Pretty gang! There is some happy mail going out today! I have severe nerve damage in my right arm and it’s been depressing me so this came at the right time for me. One of the things I did in December to combat my suicidal thoughts (because I had them) was to plan things. I didn’t mention this in my Advice Post but i have to mention how important it is to build a dream. when you’re in a prison cell and there’s no window you got to imagine that window and believe that light is shining down on you.
I planned a trip to Tokyo to write profiles on fashion icons in Harajuko. I spent hours watching Tokyo travel vlogs, reading Japanese fashion blogs, and embracing myself through my fashion style. I also came up with a business plan, I dreamed about owning a bookstore dressed up all 18th century, imagining what I wanted my bookstore to be like. Thats how I came up with Hyla Brook Books. Inspired by Robert Frost whom I’ve carried with me for a decade, and read the poem “Blueberries” and “Hyla Brook Books” and being really inspired.
My taxes came in and it went to paying the high electric bill (my arm gets really purple and stiff when its cold) and my internet bill. I made a trip to the dentist for unbearable toothpain (lets just say I’d rather get 10 more stitches) and advised it needs extraction. How wonderful, more surgery, as if there wasn’t enough pain ahead of me.
I almost didn’t buy my business supplies, but i think it will really help me financially and serve as art therapy. After I took care of the bills for this month I took the huge (for me) investment of buying packing and jewelry supplies for Hyla Brook Books.
I need a way to support myself. My closet is not selling. I made flower crowns but honestly I look too bad/unhealthy for photos. I don’t even have make up. So I can’t promote my flower crowns, i’ll need other angels to assist me.
My idea was to sell specialty curated books and nature resin jewelry. I want to make poetry jewelry too since poetry has saved my life. Books and the people who read them. If it sounds like I’m intense or emotional I am, its Pisces season and I’m the scorpion woman they warn you about.
You must risk all to gain all. I forget who said that. My objective is to go back to work but it looks like that might not happen with the HR department demanding paperwork that my doctor can’t provide. Will my job be forfeited by technicality? I must find freedom from this prison.
And that’s where the importance of a dream comes in.